Hold me, hold me tight!
It’s funny how life brings me exactly what I need: yesterday Ana suggested I write about hugs, and that very same day someone asked me for one.
We hadn’t seen each other for a while; a misunderstanding had driven us apart and I felt the need to keep some physical distance from her. Shortly after we met, she asked me for a hug; she said it had been a long time since we’d had one. And yes, I felt how that hug could heal the small wound we had, without realising it, inflicted on each other. It could help me understand.
It was a sincere, calm hug, grateful for the reunion, and it soothed me and brought me back to the present moment.
I believe the benefits of a good hug are proportional to how long it lasts. If I pay attention to my body, I notice it becomes less rigid; it softens, it relaxes.
Hugs give me a moment of meeting another person, a moment of rest. I let my defences drop so I can show myself, perhaps a little more vulnerable, like a little girl who loves being squeezed and cherished. They give me a sense of safety and trust.
During my coach training I received hugs like that: big, generous, kind, trustworthy. Those reunions with classmates and teachers made any work that followed easier; they allowed for greater openness and trust in a safe space.
If I stop to count how many hugs I give in a day, I could list quite a few: to my children, my husband, my dogs, Ana when she lets me, a friend in her grumpy moments, my nieces and nephews… and the list could go on to infinity and beyond.
Maybe you’re not a big fan of hugs, or you don’t get many chances to give or receive them during the day. But if you go looking for one now and then, stay a little while. Notice what you feel in your body, what your heart is telling you, and when you slowly return to your own posture, look the other person in the eye and see whether a small smile of gratitude for the encounter appears on your face.
Throughout the day there are several moments I find frustrating, when not everything goes the way I’d like. I’ve realised that a well-timed hug can brighten the moment. And if there’s nobody nearby, who better than me to give myself one?
It’s lovely to know that even on days when you’re not feeling your best, you can still hug yourself and take care of yourself.